My Mother

My family members always give me a call or an email very much on time although I am not sure if they are checking calendar or calculating the time difference. I had a call from my mom and an email from my sister.

My mom calls me at least once a month or so. When I talk to her on the phone at the end of a year, I like the conversation because we can talk a lot more than usual.

The reason why she called me was my father. This is a rare case. My dad asked her to tell me "happy birthday" if she was going to call me.

Why doesn't he call me instead? My dad started to have a cell phone from the very early era of Motorola's big, thick, black phone because of the nature of his job. For my dad, calling is the main and only purpose, so he doesn't use and master other features such as emailing or camera. I don't memorise his phone number because he doesn't talk much on the phone and says only "ah, ah" for replying to what I say. It is not fun.

My parents were not the ones who tried to control everything of their own children in details. It may be called nonintervention-ism within their responsibilities on their children. They always respected their children's values and thoughts. I heard the word, "sekentei (means decency or respectability)," first time in my life, from the non-persistent parent, my mom. She was talking about getting married and settling down.

Having-been-answering-back-too-much-to-parents child, I, told her that the word, "sekentei," doesn't fit to my generation and is not used anymore. This is right to say from my values, but I understand my mom's values to tell me the word at the same time. I totally know that It is not her intention to tell me the word because she is ashamed in the society and external family members. She just worries about me.

I often lose words every time when she asks me about marriage. The only thing and first time saying that I told her last night was "I am not sure about getting married, but I will be more stable not to make you worry."

It wasn't resistance against my parents, but I have been too sharp in my teens and early twenties.

I was so glad last night to recognise myself who starts to see different perspectives beyond generations.