02 October 2005

Adulthood

When I was acting like a child, M said to me, "grow up!"

And then, a thinking moment came to me.

"I have never wanted to grow up."

I didn't want to be an adult. I wanted to stay in the time when I enjoeyd playing with crowfish, grasshoppers and frogs, putting my feet into mud in the rice field, riding on the bike to explore the neighbourhood where I lived ...

Regardless of my hope, time didn't stop, and I am an adult now.

As I am getting older and older, I am losing an image of being in adulthood. After the adolescence, I acquired my own ego like everyone else. Yes, I like myself more than anyone else, but I have never felt a great confidence about who I am since I became 20 years old.

The image of adult, which I have been having in my mind since I was small, is still too far to see from where I am.

3 comments:

Heipel said...

Fuck adulthood!

I think maybe you can't see adulthood because you're standing on top of it. You've faced too many considerable challenges/responsibilities to not be an adult. But I still say, "fuck adulthood!"

Joy can so often be found free of the confines of adulthood, and all I can think about at the moment and all I want to do right now after reading your blog is to throw off my dress shoes and plunge my feet (schmloooooouuuuooop!) into a big, wet pile of black, black mud.

Mark said...

Yah fuck adulthood. I think you should do as much as you can to remember the innocence and joy with which you viewd life as a kid. Think that your age now you're old enough to know better, but young enough not to care.

sptnk_nord said...

Okay, okay... Don't worry I am getting close to where you are! You guys are going farther though.